Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
