And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
