If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
