Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
we made out on top of his cat.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
