I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
