ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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