I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Found the puke drawer
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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