Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
im holly from the hills drunk
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
