so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
