we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
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