Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize