i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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