Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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