Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
