Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
The adults are the big ones right?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize