lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
There's even glitter on my cock...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
