I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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