He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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