You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
