it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
