week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
