She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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