Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
