Got a toothbrush?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
