Swine flu is the new snow day.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
