Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
im on a boat
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