so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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