Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
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