Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
