yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just pynch a tree in the face
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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