the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
