He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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