your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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