can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
