My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
