The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I hate your face
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
