Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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