The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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