I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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