no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
