I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Randomize
