i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
