weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
