Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize