So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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