I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
