party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Randomize
