Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize
