How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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