I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
