In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize