i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize