Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
thus making me awesome and them whores
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Oh god it's open bar.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
