he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
The power of my boobs compel you
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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