I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
