it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
