Do vagina's smell?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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