I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
