Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
