After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Randomize
