Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So I just went to clothing optional bar
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
