just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
